It took three and a half months, but I finally heard what I have been dreading hearing since we got Rowenna’s diagnosis. Upon hearing Rowenna has Down syndrome, this complete stranger said “I’m sorry. I’ll pray for you.”
These past weeks I have been thinking of good, polite comebacks for this type of scenario. Yeah, right. All I said was “Thank you” and left it at that.
I feel like a gigantic failure as a mom right now. I should have told her that there was no reason to be sorry. I should have told her that if she was going to pray it shouldn’t be because we need divine intervention. I should have told her any new mom needs a prayer, not just those of us who have a child with Down syndrome. At the very least, I should not have thanked her. That completely validated her feelings and negated mine.
I am afraid of becoming one of those militant moms who make an issue out of everything. I do not want my name or my daughter’s name to always be followed by a roll of the eyes and a “oh yeah, her.” That is definitely no way to get anything done. I can’t let that fear get in the way of advocating for my daughter, though. I need to learn to chose my battles and be well armed for those situations.
Rowenna, I will do better next time. I promise.